Did I catch COVID-19? Did I sleep too much? Do I have enough sugar to make bread? Should I sweep the floor, again? 

This pandemic has paralyzed me. I have many things to do. I have many books to read. I have so much free time. Yet I end up lying down on my bed all day. 

Today, I want to share with you how I realized that I was depressed and how I got over it during this pandemic. 

Why am I so sad and ate all the sweets?

I would say I have a pretty healthy diet, but during this pandemic, all I do is just sit around and eat all day. There were days where I just felt so sad, and I had to stay in bed with my phone close to me all day. I was so angry at myself that I barely moved my body and couldn’t hold myself back from eating more sweets. 

Learn from babies

We all learned how to cope with discomfort since we were babies. I have an (almost) one year old nephew, and I’m always learning new things just as much as he. I had a video call with my sister yesterday. She showed me that my nephew needs to be given a toy to play with to feed him. When she took the toy from his hand, he started screaming. He put his fingers into his mouth, and it made it difficult for my sister to feed him. 

What sugar does to you

I was so fascinated by that because even babies learn how to soothe themselves when they are in distress. Like a baby, I was paralyzed from doing things I was supposed to do because I was constantly trying to comfort myself. When you eat sugar, your brain produces dopamine, and dopamine is the chemical that causes feelings of pleasure and happiness. That explains why I ate sweets while I was angry at myself for eating too much. 

If you feel guilty for eating all the sweets, I want to tell you that it’s okay. You might just feel sad. Let me share with you how I deal with it. 

How to be more positive

Feelings are as contagious as viruses. I know that nobody is happy with this pandemic (unless you’re a psycho), but I can’t help myself from feeling sad whenever I watch the news. I start my days by checking COVID-19 cases and deaths, and end my days reading about the economy going downhill. 

That’s depressing. 

1. Limit what you consume

I know the news makes me sad. I know I can’t do anything about it. But I didn’t realize I was letting myself be sad everyday. As much as I want to be informed on how to deal with this virus, I have to limit myself on my news intake. Now I don’t really read the news unless I am going out to get groceries. 

Unless you are dealing with the virus, I want to remind you that there is no need to sharpen a knife that won’t be used. Take note of what makes you sad, and try to limit it. 

2. Start and end your day with positive things

These past couple days I’ve started my morning by reading a book instead of news, and I have my boyfriend read me a book before bed. I feel calmer, more relaxed, and much more secure than I did last week. I also realized that the news hasn’t changed much since last time I checked.

3. Surround yourself with positive people (digitally, of course)

Everyone needs to feel noticed, appreciated, and loved. Everyone needs someone. I am lucky enough to have people around me who make me feel happy. If you also do, let them know that you love them. I guarantee it will make you feel nice inside. 

4. Check in with yourself

I’m sure you have a list to keep you busy at home but I can’t help myself from being bored. I realized that I forgot to check in with myself on my to do list. Ask yourself like you just met an old friend like “How are you? How do you feel at this moment? What brought you joy today? This week? This month?”

5. Dig deep what you care about life

This is the golden time for you to get to know yourself deeper. Let yourself play video games all day. Let yourself clean the house all day. Let yourself browse the internet about how to make DIY toothpaste all day. 

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I hope you can find a way to make yourself feel better during this pandemic. My heart goes out to people who put themselves at risk to save others or to save themselves. I want to thank all doctors, nurses, farmers, cooks and delivery drivers. I pray for those who need to look for a place to sleep or are hungry and look for food during this pandemic. I hope everyone finds comfort during this difficult time.