Inclusion. I hear that word everywhere. I hear it at work, on the news, and on social media. While everyone was talking about it, I was having a hard time relating to it. 

She is a woman, and she cries.

Sometime before COVID, I was struggling with my identity. I wondered what it meant to be a woman, a person of colour, and an immigrant. 

Then, the pandemic happened. Then, George Floyd’s life was taken. Everyone became highly sensitive, especially on social media, including myself.

During that time, I got a call from a friend. She has a leadership role at her job, and she was having a trouble at work because one of her projects received nasty comments on social media. She called me right after she had a meeting with her managers.

I could hear in her voice that she tried to tough it out, while telling me the story. 

“How are you feeling?” I asked, and she burst out. 

“I’m so sorry that I’m crying.”

When I heard her cry, I had mixed feelings. I felt so confused. I didn’t feel burdened by her openly crying to me, but I didn’t understand why she apologized for crying. 

When I heard her cry, I felt that I could relate to her. I actually felt relief.

When I heard her cry, it showed me that she had a feeling. She is a woman, and she is a leader. She must’ve been so strong!

Insensitive, ignorant, and self-centred

I was struggling to understand my feelings when my friend cried on the phone. I realized that I was conflicted with the fact that I praised masculinity. 

I grew up in an environment that put value on competitions, where men were the providers, where I had to act like a man to succeed. It was hard for me to relate with others who struggle with their work, status, or identity. I had this belief that if you worked hard enough, you would get what you wanted. 

When I moved to Canada, that belief was still ingrained in me. I didn’t see myself as different from others. I didn’t even feel that I was being treated differently. I didn’t see colours on others. I treated everyone the same. 

I thought that this was the right thing to do. 

COVID and all the discussion about George Floyd showed me that I was wrong this whole time. I was insensitive, ignorant, and self-centred. 

We live in a time where masculinity is often praised. We hide our emotions. We have to be strong. “Man up” when you cry. 

“You’re being dramatic”
“Just relax”
“No pain, no gain”

• 

I am a woman, a person of colour, and an immigrant.

I have to be strong to get what I want. I have to put 110% in the work that I do to earn respect from others. I have to fit my personality in with others to feel included. 

It was hard to accept that my concept of “success” was wrong. It was hard to unbelieve my belief. I was living in an exclusive world, and it is a tiring world to live in.

I am a woman. I can have heartbreaks and show my emotions without feeling guilty. 

I am a person of colour. I can be different and feel comfortable with myself. 

I am an immigrant. I can have an accent when I speak and be proud of it. 

While everyone is talking about inclusivity in the society and in the workplace, it’s hard to make that change. It’s hard to relate to them. It’s hard to start. And it’s all okay to feel that way. 

I know that our world is not perfect. There will be times that we have to work 110%, even 200% so everyone can feel respected, valued, and accepted. 

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If you have ever felt excluded, or have seen others experience it, let’s have a chat or leave a comment below. I might not be able to relate but want to hear about it and help me bring inclusivity around us 🙂