Boredom: being boring with unfulfilled dreams

When I do nothing, I get bored. When I am bored, I am boring. I am a boring person with unfulfilled dreams.

When I am bored, I am in my comfort zone. I let myself inside my bubble. It’s comfy.

I let my mind wander. My mind gets lost.

I visit my past. Mesmerizing good times until I find my unfulfilled dreams.

I visit the pain. Wishing I could have done things differently.

I wonder my future. Too far away from where I am now. I start adding my wish list. More on than I can counts. I lose track of my wish list.

I’m getting frustrated.

So, I run away from my thoughts – my unfulfilled dreams. Thinking that the internet will make me feel better. I go to YouTube, Netflix, Instagram, and Tinder.

It is midnight. I haven’t cleaned my dishes. My room is a mess.

I get nothing done.

“What have I done with my time?” I ask myself.

I’m sick of feeling guilty.

Boredom is different than exhaustion. When I am tired, I rest. Resting sounds similar to “doing nothing”, but the different is that I work hard to accomplish something. Therefore, I am tired. But when I am bored, I accomplish nothing.

“Forget the noise, focus on who you are, what you want to achieve. Consume less and create more.”

– John Falchetto

I started challenging myself. If you like music, then play your guitar and sing! If you like dancing, then dance! If you like art, then start drawing! If you like to eat, then cook a special dish for yourself. Isn’t that what living life is all about?

I thought that it would be cool if I could dance and sing. I fantasized about myself to be a singer or a dancer. I fantasized while lying in bed. It made me miserable about myself.

I can be anything I want. I just need to start it. Getting out from a comfort zone was not easy. But once I start it, it gets easier. I start small. I tell myself to play my ukulele at least one hour in a week. I said yes to a salsa class and commit to it once a week.

Being out of my comfort zone teaches me to appreciate life. Everything I do is now meaningful. I caught myself doing a lot of amazing things and loving them all. I play ukulele, sing, dance, draw, and read in my spare time. I appreciate my work more because that’s my only time to be creative to do design.

I am rarely bored anymore.

I am still not the one I fantasized before, but, at least, I do them now. I tell myself that I will be the person I once dreamt about. My secret is I tell myself to have fun!